We ALL Have A Past

I'm in Tulsa for the weekend. A little R&R from Nana. Tonight I had dinner with some old friends. Friends that I use to tear it up with! FUN times! We ate at another friend of ours restuarant. A couple of these girls I haven't kept in great contact with but they always manage to show up when I come to town which is nice. Another girl and I talk every couple of months or so. The first 2 girls I haven't been around since I got sober. I can't lie and say it was a little hard watching them drink. Not that I wanted to drink, just that I remember how much fun we had. If you know anything about AA, then you'll know they always say to play the whole tape thru, and I did and a lot of those times weren't so much fun for me. Those girls aren't alcoholics though. They found partners, had kids and settled down in life. Some of them are doing VERY well for themselves and I started judging my insides with their outsides. Honestly, it was making me a bit depressed. But just for a bit did I even entertain that idea. Once I was alone I thought about how different all of our lives are. How maybe they have more in some areas but notin others. Some of them work their asses off for what they have. Some of them can't believe I've survived what I have in life. Most of them never thought I had a drinking problem. That is because they didn't live inside my head and my heart. A drinking problem takes on many forms, not just the whino laying in the gutter. I started thinking about the directions we all take. How, after several years and each going in our own direction, we can still come together and enjoy each others company. I also realized how important my path is to me. The path of sobriety. The path of serenity. The path of spirituality. My life is different in so many ways. The path I am on is not the path I would have picked out. I would have picked the path that 'appears' easier. The path with the most materlistic rewards. Tonight I realized how grateful I am for the path I am on. How grateful I am for following the path my higher power has led me down. I don't know where it goes exactly or what will happen or when. I know that there will be good times and bad times and that I will find the good in either situation. My past gave me a future. We ALL have one. I'm finally learning to embrace mine in order to move on to the future rather than letting my past hold me back.